The Good

There was very few things that qualify as “good”.

Saquon Barkley carried the offense on his back for the entire first half of this game before the genius strategy of “hope Barkley wins is for us” no longer became an option for the moron calling plays due to the lack of time.

Dontayvion Wicks has proven to be a great pickup. He blocks well and runs fantastic routes – the only problem is that the team has no way of getting the ball to him more than 2-3 times per game, it seems.

The defense was stout on traditional run plays and didn’t let the ground game get going at all.

Quinyon Mitchell is an elite corner and showed it once again tonight.

If we want to reach for another positive, Jonathan Greenard, who the team spent serious draft capital and money on, actually played a game. He didn’t have a meaningful impact, but he existed, so there’s that.

Jake Elliott didn’t miss a single field goal in this game!

The Bad

The Eagles continued to throw useless screens to Makai Lemon. It’s certainly not anything anyone with a brain would be intending to gain yards on, so we must assume that the intention is to get Lemon injured as he gets wailed behind the line.

Outside of runs up the gut (and even on a few of those), the Eagles defense was again pathetic in their attempts to bring players down in the open field when it came to pretty much anyone other than Baun and Mitchell.

Marcus Epps did not have a good game at all – one of his worst as an Eagle.

Zach Ertz had one catch only and was more impactful for his failure to block in his first game back in Philadelphia. Hardly heart-warming.

Tank Bigsby got one touch and used that to showcase why he shouldn’t get any others by promptly fumbling the ball away.

Vic Fangio apparently has no ability to adjust as Nolan Smith being the closest defender in the back corner of the end zone for a pass was among the top defensive plays and it didn’t get better throughout the next three quarters. Maybe he just turned off his headset.

This staff still somehow thinks Andy Dalton is the second best quarterback on the team – and he is probably the fourth-best option at best and more likely the fifth or sixth best option. Luckily they are only paying him several million to actively hurt the team and waste a roster spot.

Tyler Steen got his name called for committing a penalty on a play where his block didn’t even matter.

At midfield with a fourth and one and time running out, the Eagles offense was so pathetic that they were unwilling to go for it and entrusted a defense that had done nothing all game instead.

The Ugly

Sean Mannion has about two good plays called through three games. Evidently, the process of seeking a new offensive coordinator came down to “let’s find a guy who we think has the change to get through a whole game without calling a single good play”. It seems they’ve found their man.

The ever-speedy and illusive Case Keenum didn’t get sacked a single time behind that vaunted Bears offensive line. (Note: all of those adjectives are sarcastic for those not picking that up).

The offensive game plan doesn’t even seem to exist this year. It was bad last year, now it seems to be “hope Saquon runs for a touchdown” and that’s about it (beyond trying to cripple Lemon).

Jihaad Campbell is still in the stage that Nakobe Dean was years ago and is not taking that step forward. He continues to identify plays and all but be in position to make the plays before simply not making the play.

Andrew Makuba was pathetic. There was nothing of any kind that could even be considered redeeming about his play – they might have been better off with a fan on the field, which is a drop off from the expectations of many fans for a ball hawk that can’t come up with the ball or cover any receiver.

Beyond Mitchell, the secondary was garbage. Keenum took a three step drop and just heaved up floater after floater that fell for catches because every receiver had 10+ yards free in every direction, so they didn’t need to worry about an interception happening.

Jalen Hurts and Andy Dalton both evidently went blind during this game as both decided to just throw lazy, slow balls directly to a defender for interceptions.

The Eagles are statistically the worst or second-worst offense in the league in several categories. The Eagles managed a single score in four quarters and ended the game on offense by having Hurts throw the ball away out of bounds with no chance for any catch on fourth down, which there might not have been a dumber possible thing to do than take away a shot for your receiver to make a catch. A pick does nothing other than get your defense a longer field unless you’re only watching out for your own stats.

EJ Jenkins made the roster, supposedly as a pass catcher and has 0 receptions to go with missed blocks.

The team was undisciplined, officially losing the game on a defensive hold and an offsides on the most obvious attempt to get exactly that reaction of the entire night.

Cam Jurgens continued to look awful even with better play around him. I don’t believe the correct blocking stance is staggering backward constantly and blatantly missing your assignments.

The only time that the “Saquon get a touchdown” strategy made the most sense was before the Dalton interception, when the ball never should have left Barkley’s hands but the OC was too stupid to call a single outside run. Instead, he called two runs straight into the defenders waiting for the run followed by having our worst quarterback make a throw.

Injury Notes:

• Hurts was evaluated for a concussion, which only served to let Andy Dalton in the game to make everything worse.

 

There’s plenty of time for the Eagles to make changes and turn the ship around, but this was a nearly all-around pathetic performance where none of the players or coaches who had a hand in making it so bad did anything to change that fact or make any adjustments at all.